The Kid (my dad) struggled with this very issue. He blamed himself for many things. I believe he felt, as a man, that it was his duty to bear the burden when things would go wrong. He eventually overcame self-condemnation when he fully submitted his life to our Lord Jesus Christ. As his son, I watched this transformation take place in his final years on this earth. I watched as his pain and suffering turned to peace and acceptance. I found/read this journal entry of his today and I hope that it helps you if you are dealing with the same issue. He wrote out seven questions to ask yourself when dealing with this issue. I encourage you to answer them for yourself.
1. Why should I continue to condemn myself when God no longer condemns me?
2. Is my self-condemnation drawing me into a closer relationship with God, or is it driving me farther from him?
3. What good am I doing by refusing to forgive myself?
4. Is my self-condemnation helping or hurting my relationship with other people?
5. Does my refusal to forgive myself impress God? Does he find me more devout because of my guilt and shame?
6. Is there any biblical basis for withholding self-forgiveness?
7. How long do I intend to condemn myself? What will be the end result?
"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."